Communication Breakdown (or Appropriately Selecting the Right Method of Communication)

The title of this post, "Communication Breakdown" is a bit of a double entendre because my goal is to breakdown different modes of communication and discuss where each is best employed.

The other meaning relates to what can happen if we don't pay attention to how we can communicate -it can all break down pretty quickly. (Yeah, it's also a rock classic!)

This post is the outflow of a staff meeting in which we discussed a specific incident where the right communication was presented in the wrong method resulting in greater challenges to an already sensitive situation. We discussed it together so we could grow from the experience and agree on the some general guidelines for communication going foward. I share it in hope that you might find it helpful personally or as a tool to share with others.

The four main methods of common communication, when to use them, and some cautions:

1. Text

When to use: When delivering important (but not sensitive), non-detailed information with speed.

Cautions: The text is amazing for a quick message ("I'm running 5 minutes late," "The movie starts at 8," delivered immediately to someone, but it is terrible for communicating anything sensitive or even complicated. If you are highly emotional or a message is highly charged, another method would almost surely be best.

2. E-mail:

When to use: When delivering important/detailed (but still not sensitive) information (especially to multiple recipients) without an immediate time urgency.

Cautions: E-mail is very helpful when something is important, but not urgent, and the reader can respond in a day or so versus a minute or so. (Which is what one should do at midnight with a random question instead of waking someone up with a non-urgent text...). The caution is to be careful about not expecting an immediate reply (for any # of reasons). The other caution is that while e-mail has the advantage of transmitting much more information than a text does, it still lacks things like tone, body language, eye contact, and any form of empathy. Thus this still isn't the best for method for sensitive or confrontational discussions.

3. Telephone

When to use: For clarification or conversation.

Cautions: If I ever sense a text or e-mail conversation is getting weird or feel like I am not understanding or being understood, I quickly change the mode and request to continue the conversation via telephone. It has the benefit of quickly clarifying something that can easily be missed in a text or an e-mail and the benefit of quick back and forth. It is also happens to still be a great personal method of communication. However, if you have to have a really tough, or potentially sensitive conversation, the telephone too falls short.

4. Personal Meeting

When to use: For highly personal, sensitive or confrontational communication.

Cautions: Of course, sensitive and confrontational conversations are not the only reason to have personal meetings, but it is the best (and often the only appropriate) way to have them. Nobody wants to be broken up with, fired, chewed out or whatever by a text or an e-mail (sadly it happens all too often). The reason people do it is because a) they can't control themselves and wait, b) they are too afraid to talk one on one or c) they don't have the emotional intelligence to understand what their words may do to a person. People are important, and they are worth the extra time and effort required from us to deliver difficult news as delicately but directly as possible eyeball to eyeball.

Note: I know I haven't discussed social media communications, but I think some of the same principles apply. What do you think about all this? Where did we get it right? Wrong? Have you had any experience with this? Break it down for us!

Comments

[Mandy]

Great post, Bill! I, for one, get locked into a particular mode of communicating and forget that it's not always the appropriate one to use. Something like email is so much easier for me, because I can be typing away while the kids are playing, and because it takes more planning and effort to meet with someone or even talk over the phone. I think it is very valuable to be reminded that certain messages are best delivered in person. My main struggles are with patience (I'll think of something and want to write it down right away, and then, instead of calling the person or arranging a meeting, I'll email it to 'em! - not a good idea) and with HATING talking on the phone. I hate not being to see the other person. I sweat bullets when I'm on the phone trying to hear (I can never seem to get the volume high enough) and trying to focus. Face to face meetings are my preferred mode of contact, so I need to work on having the patience to set them up and wait for them instead firing off those emails. I'm sure I'm lacking in the emotional intelligence area, too. I hope to improve in all these areas. And I'm trying to be open to correction when I get it wrong.

[Bill LaMorey]

Thanks, Mandy.

I don't think any of us get it right all the time. Fortunately, in many instances it is over trivial matters that aren't as imperative to get right.

Also, these are guidelines, not hard and fast rules. Sometimes we know a person so well that a different form of communication might be fine especially if it is well suited for them.

I think the time we have to be sure to get it right is when matters get more sensitive.

Thanks for your input.