Why we don't permit children in our adult worship service

Recently, I've read two artices in which two pastors for whom I have great respect and admiration blasted churches that do not allow children in their adult Sunday morning service. I disagree with them.

I have no problem with pastors/churches that choose to allow children into their services. My problem is when the issue is positioned as a matter of theology rather than methodolgy. For example, most people that let kids in the sanctuary use a verse like this "Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19:14).  Great verse and a great reminder that we should always bring kids closer to Jesus, but unless your pastor is Jesus, then this verse doesn't really apply! As a pastor you teach about Jesus (hopefully), but so do other environments in your church.

Again, I don't see a scriptural mandate for either method, but I do believe this verse tells us we need to build bridges and remove barriers for kids to come to Jesus. So a church has to decide which policies best do that.  Here a are a few reason we believe our policy of not allowing kids into the sanctuary is more effective at bringing kids and adults to Jesus:

1. Children learn at their level -Appropriate topics are given at appropriate ages and presented in appropriate methods for their particular stage of development.
2. Children like church -How many people do you meet that say they hate church because their parents forced them and it was boring? Why do that to your kids? Don't you want them to learn about Jesus AND enjoy it?
3. It allows parents to worship/learn undistracted -Our conviction is that the parent is more responsible for the spiritual development of a child than the church, so we need to make sure parents are being edified and encouraged in God's word. This is much easier when they're not trying to keep their children pacified or entertained during service.
4. It allows people throughout the service, both seekers and disciples alike, to focus on the experience rather than being distracted by crying, fussing or bored kids. (This is especially challenging in our meeting space which has great acoustics and carries every sound with crystal clarity.)
5. It frees the pastor to discuss "adult" topics without having to filter things for young ears. I don't mean this allows me to cuss, but it does allow me to discuss serious things like sex without having kids hear things they are not ready for yet.

So many people in our church have told us how thankful they are for this policy, but a small minority don't like it (you can't make everyone happy). Tomorrow I'll discuss some very intentional things we do to make this work for us.

Comments

[Strategicchurch]

At my last church we introduced a children’s worship service that ran concurrently with the adult worship service. We noticed a couple of things in addition to the points mentioned above.

1. Giving children age appropriate worship goes a long way in getting to the spot where children drag their parents to church rather than the other way around. Engaging worship for children looks very different than engaging worship for adults.

2. You can substantially increase the seating capacity of your sanctuary when the children have their own worship service in the gym. This means your church is free to grow another 50% or so without the need of another building project. Keep in mind that if your parking lot can’t handle the additional capacity this won’t work – new people can’t go to your church if they can’t get to your church.

http://albiston.com

[Bill LaMorey]

Thanks for your comments; you make some great points. Especially about the space issues. Funny enough I'll be mentioning in tomorrow's posts how kids often drag their parents to church when they love the kids' ministry! You never hear the same stories about kids forced to sit in the adult services.

[Jessica]

I'm a parent of two completely different children. I call them night and day. My first was easy to leave in Sunday school the second child ...thinks he's a growth on my hip. We were in the "nursing family section" durring calvary's church (which I loved) for over twelve months. (We moved away for six months -church we attended had no childrens service and my 12 month old would just RUN down the main isle out the church door. Possible candidate for track and field.) Back home in the States and at Calvary It has taken a month but my second child is now staying through the service without screaming the whole time. He even seems to enjoy it by the time I pick him up! All this to say what an amazing blessing it is to sit through an adult service, focused and giddily realize at the last song that my Childs name hasn't been put on the scream to get him from Sunday school. Such a time of edifying peace. It's a good policy.