In yesterday's post I introduced the top 2 reasons people give when leaving our churches. The first one is "I'm not being fed." What does that even mean?!? What we as pastors believe it means is probably different than what the person saying it believes. Yesterday I mentioned why it is valuable to dig below the surface to get to the real meaning so let's do that.
"I'm not being fed."
Why do people say that?
It could mean, they really are not being fed. In other words we as pastors have to examine ourselves and ask if our preaching is accessible enough to the seeker and new believer, but also deep enough for the more mature believer. Honestly, there is some weak preaching out there, and we need to examine ourselves and remain committed to reject that in our churches.
It could mean they are not exercising. Are people applying what they are learning? I believe when people say they are not being fed it really means they do not feel spiritually healthy. And since nobody likes to blame themselves (pastors included) it is easier to blame someone else and say "I'm not being fed!" This is why every week I challenge people not just to hear God's word but also to heed it by taking next steps. It is amazing how proper eating and exercising promotes good health physically AND spiritually!
It could mean we are not equipping people to feed themselves. The best gourmet meal I might eat today won't sustain me all week long! We all need to eat regularly to stay healthy and energetic, and this is also true spiritually. So in addition to telling people they need to feed themselves regularly, are we also training them HOW to do it by teaching such spritual disciplines as "how to do a devotion" or "how to study the Bible personally?" We need to serve good fish dinners AND teach people how to fish!
It could mean that people are eating junk food instead of healthy food. This could mean that people are watching cotton candy junkfood on Christian TV or just watching junk altogether that entertains the soul, but does not feed their spirit. If this is happening, they will indeed not be being fed, and once again the pastor will often be identified as the culprit.
It could mean that people don't connect with your preaching. Not much you can do here -different strokes for different folks. (Assuming you have the gift of teaching and always bring your personal best).
It could mean that people are unfairly comparing you to the best megachurch pastor on their podcast. Here they need to cut you some slack and realize not everyone is Tim Keller or Andy Stanley. Maybe we can introduce them to some really bad podcasts so they'll appreciate us. Feel free to send them mine. :)
It could mean that there are other issues in your church going on that they don't really want to address. Conflict with others or frustration with bad systems can interfere with peoples' receptivity to good preaching. That is why a good exit conversation can be very helpful.
It could also mean that there is an issue going on in their personal lives that they don't really want to address and maybe you're hitting too close to home.
I don't have it all figured out, but I do believe that when someone tells us they aren't being fed it is not really an answer a much as it is an opportunity for exploration that could lead to great growth on both sides. What do YOU think?
Tomorrow I'll dig underneath the second reason people give for leaving a church.
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